We were driving to Big Bear Lake to see family a few weeks ago, and somehow we forgot to bring CDs. (Side note #1: Our stupid minivan continues to disappoint. Not only is it ugly as flaming sin and shameful to drive, it doesn’t have an auxiliary input for a phone or mp3 player. It was made in 2006. I had an mp3 player then, as did much of the United States. So…WTH?)
Somewhere around Hour Three of our drive I scrounged through the glove compartment to find a small collection of discs: a Radiohead CD and a dramatized recording of Seabass’ children’s Bible.
Now look, I’m all for listening to a recording of the children’s Bible, and I’m tickled that Seabass wanted to listen to it FOR HOURS ON END. Really, truly thrilled. But at some point, it was time to cleanse the palate with a little Radiohead, knowwhaddImsayin? So, with as much diplomacy as I could muster, I informed Seabass that we would be changing things up for a bit. After a few meeps and moans, he acquiesced, and the wailings of Thom Yorke were soon soaring from our speakers.
Seabass was okay with this for exactly one track. As soon as the second cut came on, he asked – rather sweetly, I might add – for the Bible to be put on again. Jake and I found ourselves in quite the quandary. How do you refuse a child the Bible in favor of Radiohead? I’m sure some of my fellow Christian parents out there are cringing at the fact that we even had to think about this. Sorry friends. We are just that selfish.
“Love, we’re going to stick with Radiohead for a bit longer, okay? This is mommy and daddy’s pick. You’ll get your turn to choose again soon.” [Repeat with start of every subsequent song.]
Around Track Seven, however, our conscience got the better of us. It was the song “We Suck Young Blood” off of the record Hail to the Thief.
Yup. That’s really what it’s called. (Who thought it was a good idea for us to become parents?!?)
(Side note #2: Regarding “We Suck Young Blood,” I have a theory that the use of hand claps in any song makes it instantly great. Reference the intro to “Car Wash,” “We Will Rock You,” and “Blister In The Sun” by the Violent Femmes. Who’s with me?)
“Can I please have the Bible on?” asked Seabass. And yes, he seriously used the word please.
[Sheepish look from Jake.] “Let’s just finish this song,” I said, guiltily. ”Then you can have whatever you want.”