I put him in front of the TV. And he loved it.
When Seabass was first born, a friend came by to hand down a bunch of her kids’ old toys and such. Excitedly pulling cool things from the bag, my hands found a VHS tape of “Baby Bach” by the Baby Einstein Company. Then a “Baby Mozart” video.
As if. That’s the first thing that ran through my head, though I kindly thanked her and continued to delight in the new loot. The videos took a spot on a shelf in Seabass’ room and have been collecting dust there ever since. That is, until today.
Yesterday was Seabass’ first Daylight Savings day, and while it went okay, he’s definitely been fussier than usual, rubbing his eyes and biting his hands like he’s at war and they’re the enemy. But the real kicker is that I’m sick again. Went to bed last night with a raging sore throat and awoke to it in full bloom this morning. So let’s just say the dye was cast.
I sat little Seabass in his Pack ‘n Play in the living room, lightly dusted with a few choice toys to occupy him. And then I put in the Baby Bach video. I lay down on the couch, my head throbbing, and watched as my sweet, innocent son surrendered to the mind-meld that is Baby Einstein. Yes, I was complicit in the crime.
A few weeks ago, BFF Caroline told me that she had indulged in Baby Einstein with her own wee one. “Have you seen this stuff, Jaime?” she asked in hushed tones, lest anyone hear how she’d sinned. “It’s like a drug trip. Or, at the very least, it’s certainly drug-induced.”
How right she was. I suspect that if the stoner community at-large caught wind of these videos, The Dark Side of the Moon would be asked to step aside. Baby Einstein consists of short – VERY short – clips of toys spinning, bouncing, and rolling to the music of whoever the featured composer happens to be.
The Baby Einstein website describes their approach thus:
Baby Einstein offers a wide range of developmentally appropriate products for babies and toddlers. What makes Baby Einstein products unlike any other is that they are created from a baby’s point-of-view and incorporate a unique combination of real world objects, music, art, language, poetry and nature — providing you an opportunity to introduce your baby to the world around them in playful and enriching ways.
The part that gets me is that last sentence: “an opportunity to introduce your baby to the world around them in playful and enriching ways.” I’d always believed that in order to introduce my baby to the world around him, I’d have to actually take him into the world, rather than plop him in a play pen to watch a video indoors.
But today? Oh how I needed it.
The good news is that this whole being-humbled-with-impunity thing is getting a lot easier.