For this I will most assuredly be sent to hell.

8 Nov

Just this once...

I put him in front of the TV.  And he loved it.

When Seabass was first born, a friend came by to hand down a bunch of her kids’ old toys and such.  Excitedly pulling cool things from the bag, my hands found a VHS tape of “Baby Bach” by the Baby Einstein Company.  Then a “Baby Mozart” video. 

As if.  That’s the first thing that ran through my head, though I kindly thanked her and continued to delight in the new loot.  The videos took a spot on a shelf in Seabass’ room and have been collecting dust there ever since.  That is, until today.

Yesterday was Seabass’ first Daylight Savings day, and while it went okay, he’s definitely been fussier than usual, rubbing his eyes and biting his hands like he’s at war and they’re the enemy.  But the real kicker is that I’m sick again.  Went to bed last night with a raging sore throat and awoke to it in full bloom this morning.  So let’s just say the dye was cast.

I sat little Seabass in his Pack ‘n Play in the living room, lightly dusted with a few choice toys to occupy him.  And then I put in the Baby Bach video.  I lay down on the couch, my head throbbing, and watched as my sweet, innocent son surrendered to the mind-meld that is Baby Einstein.  Yes, I was complicit in the crime.

A few weeks ago, BFF Caroline told me that she had indulged in Baby Einstein with her own wee one.  “Have you seen this stuff, Jaime?” she asked in hushed tones, lest anyone hear how she’d sinned.  “It’s like a drug trip.  Or, at the very least, it’s certainly drug-induced.”

How right she was.  I suspect that if the stoner community at-large caught wind of these videos, The Dark Side of the Moon would be asked to step aside.  Baby Einstein consists of short – VERY short – clips of toys spinning, bouncing, and rolling to the music of whoever the featured composer happens to be. 

The Baby Einstein website describes their approach thus:

Baby Einstein offers a wide range of developmentally appropriate products for babies and toddlers. What makes Baby Einstein products unlike any other is that they are created from a baby’s point-of-view and incorporate a unique combination of real world objects, music, art, language, poetry and nature — providing you an opportunity to introduce your baby to the world around them in playful and enriching ways.

The part that gets me is that last sentence: “an opportunity to introduce your baby to the world around them in playful and enriching ways.”  I’d always believed that in order to introduce my baby to the world around him, I’d have to actually take him into the world, rather than plop him in a play pen to watch a video indoors.

But today?  Oh how I needed it.

The good news is that this whole being-humbled-with-impunity thing is getting a lot easier.

14 Responses to “For this I will most assuredly be sent to hell.”

  1. Jacob November 8, 2010 at 9:55 am #

    What have you done to my son!?

    • jaimeclewis November 8, 2010 at 9:56 am #

      Oh yeah. Sweetie, can Seabass watch Baby Einstein?

  2. Sandi Sigurdson November 8, 2010 at 10:09 am #

    Oh please. You’re sick and he’s a entertain-me-on-demand kind of guy. It doesn’t sound like you’re torturing children with classical music so you get a pass. My sins were far greater. Picture the discussion with your 3 year old girl after 12-15 viewings of “The Little Mermaid”. Mom to Margaret Rose: “Yeah, the prince is cute and Ariel is really cute, but I don’t think she should give up her awesome swim chops not to mention CHANGE SPECIES just for a dumb boy.” If you don’t have to weigh-in morally on the video content I think you’re ahead child-needs-therapy-wise. FEEL BETTER!

  3. Megan November 8, 2010 at 10:13 am #

    welcome to the vortex; the slippery slope. It’s calmer here. 🙂

    • lifeintheboomerlane November 8, 2010 at 10:22 am #

      I share your pain. As do most devoted, well-intentioned moms out there. And I guess it won’t help to tell you that I read somewhere that Baby Einstein does a baby no better than anything else. But it will to tell you that Seabass is destined to grow up fine. More than fine.

  4. AKeo November 8, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    I find myself crossing things off of my “I’ll never do that as a mother” list. Like TV before 2. All research shows that it is definitely a no-no. But Sesame Street is the only thing that holds him still long enough to trim the finger and toe nails. It’s not on every day and not on for long, but I’ll do TV over a writhing toddler with 6 inch claws.

  5. Oma November 8, 2010 at 10:54 am #

    You were raised on Sesame Street, Disney movies, and Evening at the Improv. You were also raised going to the library, the beach, live theater and concerts. Balance, balance.

    • jaimeclewis November 8, 2010 at 11:05 am #

      And now look at me. A pulsating mess of snot.

  6. Jill Whitacre November 8, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    I hear you, but we did the same a few months ago with Jude. We use Baby Signing Time and despite how thoroughly annoying it is to wake up with kid tv songs in my head the DVDs are killer. And…Jude is picking up signs left and right. I thought this kid would always demand everything and this weekend out of the blue he busted out the sign for please!

  7. EntrepreMother November 8, 2010 at 2:55 pm #

    TV is way underrated. Bring on the Baby Einstein and the Baby Bach! But as soon as they introduce Baby Camus or Baby Madonna, I’m out.

  8. g-mama November 8, 2010 at 3:19 pm #

    hilarious! I love the B.E. DVD’s its usually just music behind their play, but the babies will glance at the TV occasionally. I have all the CD’s too. Nothing like twinkly little sounds of the classics. 🙂

  9. Auntie K November 8, 2010 at 9:36 pm #

    I like watching that! Seems harmless to me and I’m pretty much a TV is the opiate of the masses kind of gal. In moderation and especially when you are under the weather, it seems the smart thing to do. I just read a blog in the NYT on parenting (you’ve probably seen it) that ended with this little gem (Dr. Spock was the bible of parenting for my parents’ generation)

    ‘The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all. Furthermore, all parents do their best job when they have a natural, easy confidence in themselves. Better to make a few mistakes from being natural than to do everything letter-perfect out of a feeling of worry. “The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care,” Benjamin Spock, 1946’

    • chris November 10, 2010 at 11:29 pm #

      Baby Einstein is totally awesome! We bought our granddaughter the “Costco” set… I wish she was still young enough to watch the mesmerizing episodes – instead of playing games on her mom’s IPhone!
      Moms do what they “gotta do” – Baby Einstein should be the least of your worries! get better soon!
      Have you used a sinus rinse (neti pot)??? works wonders.
      or perhaps Jake can come home from work to watch Seabass while you flush the snot away?


  1. Controversy Wednesday: SPANKING « Higher Highs, Lower Lows - November 10, 2010

    […] that the best laid plans are often those that crumble first – and hardest (e.g. no swing, no television).   So I sought after some parents I know and respect from across many generations, religious […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: