This is our son, Seabass. No, that’s not his real name – we’re not sharing that with you because I spontaneously morphed into a paranoid, overprotective mom the moment I gave birth. It just happened.
The nickname “Seabass” (or “C” for short) has its origins in the fine film Dumb & Dumber, c. 1994. You may remember a heartwarming moment halfway through the film that involves Jim Carey’s character and a man named Seabass. My husband adores this scene, and has always wanted to call his son Seabass. Especially if our little guy ever winds up in a fight on the playground, there is a particular phrase that will be apropos. If you know the movie, you understand.
Now don’t get me wrong: I love Dumb & Dumber. It is a classic. But if I were a single mom, you can bet I wouldn’t be calling my baby Seabass. No, this was an act of sheer sacrifice for the gratification and titillation of my husband. Most women, upon hearing that we call our son Seabass, frown and think I’m nuts. Most guys light up and think Jake must have married the coolest woman on earth. I’ll never forget sharing Seabass’ name with the guy behind the register at Trader Joe’s. He immediately busted out with the line, “Who’s the dead man who hit me with the salt shaker?” And then he proceeded to call me amazing.
Whatever, I’ll take it.