Girls only today. Boys: Go away.

5 Mar

Note: No boys allowed today.  Just trust me on this one.  If you’re a guy and you’re dying to know what the following post says, forward it along to a female who loves you and ask for her interpretation, if you must.  Run along, now.  Go on, shoo.

A new book recently came out by the author of the awesome blog, Finslippy.  It’s called Let’s Panic About Babies! and the sub-header reads, “How to endure and possibly triumph over the adorable tyrant who will ruin your body, destroy your life, liquefy your brain and finally turn you into a worthwhile human being.”  While I don’t necessarily agree that babies “destroy your life,” I do agree with the rest of that sentence and applaud the authors for having the cajones to put it in print.

I also love their use of a “Babies with Laser Eyes” image on the cover.  Nicely done, ladies.

Anyway, this post is girls-only because I have have have to direct you to something from the Let’s Panic About Babies website that involves the V-word.  Trust me: I wouldn’t do this unless it were absolutely necessary.  And it is, because this is the most eloquently hilarious bit of writing I’ve read in a long time.  Anyone who has given birth will understand.  Here is the link.  Read it and weep.

8 Responses to “Girls only today. Boys: Go away.”

  1. N'sMomma March 5, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    Oh enough of the high and mighty vagina birthing over csection war. I can’t even count the articles I’ve read or discussions I’ve had the misfortune of being a part of in regards to the “natural” versus the supposed unnatural csection. We’re all mothers, lets be in this together instead of trying to hold some contest of who did it better. Did we not all bring life into this world? Are we not all losing our minds trying to provide for that life? And most importantly are we not all dragging around enough guilt and over analyzed thoughts over every minuscule parenting decision we make? Do we really need another woman trying to make us feel like less of a mother over what most commonly is not an option (unless you consider dying while giving birth like it’s 1910 an option).

    And p.s. from my Mommy group discussions the vag vs c discussion always ends the same way; csection birth and RECOVERY makes vag birth look like a scraped knee. Stop trying to make it out to be all roses like you show up at a spa and 10 minutes later your draped in a robe with a perfectly shaped baby in your arms.

    • jaimeclewis March 5, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

      Whoa! Hold on, now, N’s Momma. I am not high-and-mighty in the least on this subject. I completely and totally applaud every woman who is attempting to raise another human being, no matter how they brought their child into this world, or – in the case of adoptive parents – even if they didn’t. And I think the authors of this article were being funny. You know – with, like, a sense of humor and all.

  2. N'sMomma March 6, 2011 at 8:24 am #

    Your right and me and my hormones apologize for the hasty response. In the light of day I still take offense to their article (I should have mentioned too that I recognize their opinion may not be yours). The response comes from a place 8 months later of being asked “did you have him the natural way?” (Typically asked after having one look at my teensy self and hearing the words “9lbs 5oz”. Countless articles talking about how vaginal birth is so empowering and talking about women who have csection like we scheduled a hair appointment. Obviously I’m sensitive to the subject but if you want a topic for your controversy wednesday, I vote for the great vagina vs csection debate. You might find the same as me, there is a great divide between mothers and especially for the fact that most of us csection mommas have enough guilt over it ourselves we could use the extra support of one less “unnatural” comment.

    • jaimeclewis March 6, 2011 at 6:56 pm #

      Apology accepted. Now, as for the great vagina vs c-section debate: It’s so strange to me to read that you feel judgement from mothers who delivered vaginally, because I promise promise promise that I have never had anything other than the greatest admiration for women who have had c-sections. My best friend had one (in Hollywood, no less – you wanna talk convenience c-sections?) and I know without a doubt that it was for the best. Never felt any differently. I also know that her recovery was crazy difficult. When Seabass was born, we swapped war stories. It was great. She had a crazy abdominal scar and I had a third-degree whopper and we cried on each others’ shoulders without judgement.

      Why in the world would anyone have guilt for giving birth in any way? Who are these people judging you? I want to know because I will beat them up for you. Better yet, I’ll sic Seabass on ’em. Hoo boy. That will show them.

  3. Steph D. March 7, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    It was rather funny to me- especially the analogy pics.

    • jaimeclewis March 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm #

      I know, right?!?

  4. Anonymous March 14, 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    “Finally Turn you into a Worthwhile Human Being”

    Come on, Jaime!! You are a worthwhile human being because of God’s love for you, NOT because you gave birth to another human, or are responsible for its care!

    What about all the human beings that will never or can never reproduce!! Are they any less worthy?

    • jaimeclewis March 14, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

      Earth to readers: IT’S A JOKE.

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