New Mom: My baby just started standing up on his own! I can’t wait for him to take his first steps.
Crusty Veteran Mom: Take it from me, girl: You do *not* want him to start walking. When mine started taking his first steps, I pushed him down repeatedly because I didn’t want to have to chase after him all the time. That’s what happens when you’ve had a few kids – you know what’s coming so you prolong their immobility for as long as possible.
This is the conversation I had about fifteen bajillion trillion times before Seabass started teetering on two legs a couple months ago. To be honest, I always found it pretty annoying to be told I didn’t want a walking child. The truth is, I wanted it more than anything.
You see, we always knew Seabass would be an early walker – not because he’s so advanced or anything, but because he utterly detested crawling. All he ever wanted was to be upright and into everything. But since he couldn’t, Jake and I were forced either to
1. listen to his painful, skin-crawling whine whenever he couldn’t get something he wanted, or
2. break our own backs getting it for him.
Everything’s different now. If Seabass wants something, he gets it. If that something is a toy, book, or Cheerio, hooray! If it’s a broken Pacifico bottle, knife, or can of Ajax, boo! So we have eliminated all “boo”-type implements at his level.
But there are some things that simply can’t be removed, such as DIRT. Dirt belongs, by its very nature, at ground level. And Seabass is a true dirt connoisseur. How often does he partake of it? Oh, I’d say at least every day now. I know that seriously bugs some of you. But a) I’m too tired to hover, and b) if it doesn’t kill him, it will only make him stronger.
And at this rate, this kid is going to be really, really strong.