Hi, it’s me. The fat lady with two dogs and a two-year-old that you passed on the Bob Jones Bike Trail this morning. Yeah, hi.
Maybe you’re from L.A. Or the Bay Area. Or even Orange County. And maybe you’re having a really bad day. Those are the only reasons I can see that could possibly explain why you would yell, “IT’S A TWO-LANE PATH!!!” at me as you sped past in your tidy little black spandex running shorts this morning.
This is San Luis Obispo County, my friend. We are an active people, but a relaxed and sensitive people. When you lashed out at me for the two inches I jutted into your “passing lane” to address my toddler’s meltdown, I was speechless. I mean, really speechless. My first response after gaping at your prancing backside was to chase you down and give you what-for.
“OH IS IT REALLY? IS IT REALLY A TWO-LANE PATH?? I WAS SO CONFUSED! THANKS FOR POINTING IT OUT TO ME, YOU THOUGHTLESS HARPY.”
That’s what I wanted to say.
But my second response was just to cry. Blame it on being pregnant.
Oh wait – did you not notice that I’m pregnant?