Blog Hijack: Honest Toddler

21 Aug

A friend recently passed along this outstanding blog post from Honest Toddler called “Recipes.”  If you have, or have ever had, a toddler, you will want to read this letter from an earnest toddler to his parents on how to feed him.  EXACTLY how to feed him.

My own dear Seabass is, thank the Lord, a pretty good eater.  Scratch that – a championship eater.  But he occasionally gets fussy about the lack of symmetry in his blueberry  muffin, or the temperature of his tomatoes.  This excerpt from the “Recipes” post sums up what toddlers want us to know about food quite nicely.

Excerpt:

Dinnertime is hard for all of us and I know why: you have terrible recipes. I’ve compiled several of my favorites below. Please print them out and put them on a fridge using a magnet. When it’s time for cooking, follow it and don’t get creative.

Honest Toddler Approved Recipes

1. Toast with Butter

Hold on to your seat! This is a yummy one!!

Step 1: Find an unbroken piece of perfect bread with no rips.

Step 2: Put in toaster. Don’t get distracted by a Facebook fight you have no business participating in.

Step 3: When toast pops out, INSPECT IT. Is it a uniform golden brown color? Is it still intact? If not, return to Step 1.

Step 4. Butter toast liberally.

Step 5: Ask toddler how he or she would like toast prepared or cut. Don’t make assumptions. You don’t know anything about anything.

Step 6: Serve toast.

Step 7: Has toddler changed their mind about toast? Does toddler want cut up toast to be whole again? Repair toast with your mind. If you’re not powerful enough, return to Step 1 AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES DON’T BE LAZY

Honest Toddler deserves a standing ovation for their accuracy on this one.  “Repair toast with your mind.”  Sure thing, darling!  I’ll get right on that.

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Blog Hijack: Honest Toddler”

  1. Kathryn Winfrey August 21, 2012 at 8:13 am #

    Love this!

  2. soccer news July 7, 2014 at 11:18 am #

    Thanks for sharing this good web page.

  3. Marc August 29, 2014 at 8:07 pm #

    I read a lot of interesting content here. Probably you spend a lot of time writing, i know how to save
    you a lot of time, there is an online tool that creates high quality, google friendly posts in seconds, just type in google
    – laranitas free content source

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: