Nope, haven’t given birth yet. Let’s just get that out of the way.
I was nine days overdue with Seabass, so the whole baby-not-here-yet thing isn’t new. All the same, it really, really sucks. Through this experience I have realized, yet again, that what I dread most in life isn’t death or nuclear war or losing my house to a flood. (Such quaint, specific fears!) No, I dread the unknown. I dread a lack of control. You can see why parenting has been challenging for me.
I had an appointment with my OB on Monday. Seeing as I have gestational diabetes (read: MONSTER BABY) he asked if I’d like to be induced this weekend. I said I’d prefer not to be pumped full of chemicals, no. Then he “checked” me (such a harmless word for such an uncomfortable procedure) and found that I was 50% effaced and 2 cm dilated – both good signs that labor would kick in before the weekend anyway.
But here we are. On Thursday. With no indication that my body has any clue what it’s supposed to do.
Everyone has a suggestion for how to bring on contractions. I’ve been told I need to eat spicy food, have sex, twiddle my nipples, walk downhill a lot, and get a massage. (Jake has gone one step further and suggested I pour Tabasco sauce DIRECTLY onto my cervix.) And then there are the specific food suggestions. One friend swears he has catapulted dozens of women into labor with his enchiladas. Another believes that a pizza place in Sacramento does the trick. But when I was one week overdue with Seabass, a friend shared the recipe for her family’s magically labor-inducing banana nut bread that appeared to work, since I went into labor the day after consuming it.
So last Tuesday, I pulled out Seabass’ baby book (where the recipe lives) and whipped up a loaf. To my infinite dismay, the bread did not budge baby. But it sure was delicious.
Great Grandma Schirnmer’s Labor-Inducing Banana Nut Bread
- 2 c. flour
- 1 1/2 t. baking powder
- 1/2 t. baking soda
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 c. oil
- 1 c. sugar
- 1 t. lemon juice
- 1/2 t. vanilla
- 1 c. mashed bananas
- 1 c. chopped walnuts
Sift flour, baking powder and baking soda together in a small bowl. In large bowl, mix eggs, oil, sugar, lemon juice and vanilla. Add bananas and walnuts. Stir in flour mixture and pour batter into greased and floured loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-60 minutes, depending on size of pan. Test for doneness with a toothpick.
Despite this bread’s failure to launch me into labor this time, I still highly recommend it. Just let your pregnant friends know before they eat it that they’re playing with fire.