Pity party: A night in the life.

17 Oct

The scene.

5pm – Start cooking dinner.  You know, something mild that Sweet Chuck can tolerate when she gets it via breastmilk.  In other words: no spices, no soy, no dairy (butter, cheese, milk, casein, whey), no broccoli, no cauliflower, no tomatoes, no onions, no garlic, and no nuts.  So fire up a pot of boiling water, cuz it’s boiled chicken and rice tonight, baby!!

5:11pm – Sweet Chuck starts wailing.  Stop everything, pour self a cold beer, and nurse with glass in hand.

5:30pm – Daddy comes home.  Don’t forget to accept his kiss and look him in the eye for half a second.

6pm – Restart dinner proceedings.  Clean up stove where rice boiled over.

6:30pm – Sit down to dinner with Sweet Chuck in bouncer between me and Seabass, as per his very specific request.  Pray in gratitude for the food.  Start to dish up plates until derailed by screaming Sweet Chuck.

6:32pm – Leave table to bounce Sweet Chuck on giant living-room-dominating yoga ball while inserting pacifier into gaping mouth.

6:50pm – Watch as Daddy and Seabass leave table and head toward the bathroom for a bath.

7pm – Make it back to boiled chicken and rice, now cold.  Sweet Chuck fidgets in bouncer nearby.

7:15pm – Seabass and Daddy finish bath, proceed to bedroom for ni-night routine.  Try to clean up enough of dinner to ensure that life can go on the following day.

7:30pm – Make appearance in Seabass’ room to say goodnight with ever-fussier Sweet Chuck in arms.  Feel crushing guilt that Seabass doesn’t get all of me anymore.

7:32pm – Change Sweet Chuck into pajamas, swaddle in Miracle Blanket, and nurse.

7:50pm – Bounce Sweet Chuck on yoga ball while inserting pacifier.

8pm – Lay Sweet Chuck down in bouncer, crank white noise machine to eleven, and hope for the best.

8:02pm – Brush teeth, wash face, note dull skin, dark eye circles and flabby tummy in mirror, wondering when I can reasonably expect them to go away.  Don pajamas that allow for emergency boob access.  Take vitamins, including stool softener and ibuprofen to ease inflammation in still-healing nether-region.

8:15pm – Pump breastmilk for a bottle that Daddy can feed to Sweet Chuck in next four to five hours.

8:30pm – Kiss Jake goodnight (oh yeah, he has a name besides Daddy!) and try to fall asleep while listening to Sweet Chuck cry with him in living room.

9pm – Fall asleep.

11pm – Rouse to sound of Sweet Chuck crying.  Force myself to stay in bed and let Jake handle it.

12:57am – Feel Jake shaking me for the changing of the guard.  Say goodnight to him again as he lays down in bed.  Pee.  Drink water.  Shuffle out to living room where Sweet Chuck is screaming for milk.  Attempt to change diaper, only to watch her pee all over changing table.  Remove changing pad, remove Sweet Chuck’s pajamas, find new pajamas.  Change diaper successfully.  Hear Sweet Chuck poop with the force of a jet engine as beginning to swaddle.  Cry.

1:20am – Finish getting Sweet Chuck dry, pajama’d, and swaddled.  Begin nursing.

1:45am – Finish nursing.  *Place Sweet Chuck in bouncer for bed.  Lay down on couch to sleep.

1:47am – Hear Sweet Chuck start to squirm.

1:49am – Sweet Chuck now completely awake.

1:51am – And now screaming.  Get on yoga ball and insert pacifier whilst cursing.

2:01am – Lay now-sleeping Sweet Chuck into bouncer.  Lay down on couch once again.

2:03am – Hear Sweet Chuck start to squirm.

2:05am- Sweet Chuck now completely awake.

2:07am- And now screaming.  Get on yoga ball and insert pacifier whilst cursing.

2:09am – Lay now-sleeping Sweet Chuck into bouncer.  Lay down on couch once again.

*Repeat this sequence of events for next hour, punctuated by repeat attempts to nurse fussy Sweet Chuck and consumption of two bowls of cereal.

3:15am – Neighbors home from bars and obnoxious outside window.  Nice touch.

3:30am – Actually get Sweet Chuck to sleep.

3:45am – Fall sleep.

4am- Wake to dog barfing up God-knows-what in dining room.  Decide to leave it there until someone else notices, or until I slip in it and die.

4:30am – Wake to cries of hungry Sweet Chuck.  Change diaper.  Twice.  Nurse.

5:30am – Sleep.

7am – Daddy up for work and eating breakfast four feet away from Sweet Chuck.  Rustling cereal bags and spoon-against-bowl noises rouse Sweet Chuck.  Nurse.

7:30am – Seabass up and demanding breakfast.

7:32am – Frantically turn to coffee maker for salvation.  Remember that caffeine might irritate baby’s tummy.  Pity self.

21 Responses to “Pity party: A night in the life.”

  1. Nikki October 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    Yup…sounds pretty normal. Praying for you sweet friend. Hang in there. It’ll all look better in just a few weeks even. You’re doing great!

  2. ijudclaire October 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm #

    Welcome to motherhood. It gets better. They go off to college.

  3. Anonymous October 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

    Oh yes…. without the puking dog, this is my nightly routine. Welcome back to newborn land Jaime :). Where the sleep is never enough and the crying jags never seem to end. (for you, baby one or baby two).

  4. Geiska October 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

    Oh you poor sweet dear. Prayers, prayers and more prayers coming your way.

  5. Anonymous October 17, 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    I remember that like it was yesterday and it was 5 years ago. I agree with those above – it does get better but it sure is hard now. Give yourself a break – drink some coffee!

  6. Kat October 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Oh man, I can relate. 10:50, scar finally goes to sleep and as if she knows, the baby wakes up seconds later — virtually every night. I remember thinking, almost more than with the first kid, that I needed a good support group. Feel free to keep in touch. 🙂

  7. Gina October 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    I’d convinced myself that those early days couldn’t have been as bad as I remembered. Now I’m realizing that yes, they were. Except now I’ve gone and gotten pregnant again.

    Good luck to you friend! Hoping and praying that these long nights are over quickly for you. At least there’s no sign of colic, right?

    • Mulky January 23, 2013 at 11:45 am #

      info on blues guitar, scelas, riffs,modern and folk(delta) stylings of this most amazing form of expression?any info,links ect pertaining to playing the blues on guitar would make my day i have recently gottin addicted to guitar and the blues that come from that guitar are while good sounding,basic,i know the blues scale based on the pentatonic scale and i know the blues acompanyment chords using both barre and open chords but i am having trouble with modern lead blues and folk (delta) styles of playing not that they are impossible to do but the lack of solid info has left me frustrated,i relize this is not a simple question to answer but any information on the topic would be enlightining.

  8. Kelly October 17, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    Are opposed to babywearing or cosleeping? One or the other or both could get you more silence & more sleep….

  9. Stay strong mama October 17, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

    Baby reacts to what is in your blood not your stomach! So no to the caffine and dairy but onions, broccoli etc are fine and won’t effect your BM! It will get better and at least your hubby takes some of the night work for you

  10. Grandma L October 17, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    Must have been a bad night. Tonight might be great!

  11. momtotripsplus1 October 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm #

    Try it with triplets. I survived and you will too.

  12. eric e October 17, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

    damn you have me scared shitless now that we have our second on the way too!

    • Kasi January 20, 2013 at 7:15 pm #

      The most precious three pelpoe in the world. Adorable & beautiful little Tenlee, Oma loves you very much.Sugar & Spice: You are wonderful and amazing Mommy & Daddy &Son & Daughter, I love you more & more every day.Amazing pictures of beautiful, loving pelpoe.

  13. Anonymous October 17, 2012 at 9:37 pm #

    Hugs from a fellow mom of two. It will get better.

    • Paul January 20, 2013 at 7:22 pm #

      after reading your book your extalnapion of the events seem more plausible than the official record. I would be very interested to know about any local book signings I live in Virginia Beach and I know my dad would have very much wanted to be there..take care

  14. Anonymous October 18, 2012 at 8:39 am #

    I mostly wanted to say hang in there, mama! You can do it! I’m in about the same boat by the way, and my evening routine is similar. sigh.

    But I have to add I’ve been told by multiple sources that foods that give people gas do not translate to gas via breast milk and it’s rare for babies to reject breast milk due to spices or garlic. I had cabbage last night and my baby is farting the usual number of farts today, so this is proving true for us. If your baby has a milk or soy allergy, that’s another story, but you can probably add some variety to your diet. Sadly, that doesn’t help with sleep, but some broccoli might be good for your body and morale.

  15. Marta October 19, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

    Oh dear, I do not miss those days. Hang in there. It’s okay to pity party sometimes you’re definitely dealing with a lot!

  16. hannah November 1, 2012 at 12:06 pm #

    If baby is still fussy try a chiropractor… workec wonders for the 3rd baby…. wish i would have known for babies 1 and 2! Dr. Egbert in sm is amazing with kids and babies

  17. Galle January 21, 2013 at 1:06 am #

    Jessica, words cannot epsrexs our amazement at the beauty of your work. We are obviously prejudiced by the sight of our grand daughter, but the photography is stand alone beautiful. Thanks for being there for Matt and MA and Montana.


  1. Baby-bouncing playlist « Higher Highs, Lower Lows - November 15, 2012

    […] I wrote about one particular night in the life of our precious Sweet Chuck, many people have been kind enough to ask me how it’s going.  The query usually goes […]

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