Isn’t it crazy how some of the world’s quietest adults were once bombastically loud children? My brother, now a soft-spoken man, once yelled “LOOK AT THAT MOMMY’S HAIR!” and pointed to the beehive coif of a fellow diner at a Mexican restaurant. My mom says she wanted to dissolve into the floor as the entire restaurant stopped and stared.
I hope Seabass becomes as quiet as my brother in adulthood, but if recent events are any indication, that hope is in vain.
EXHIBIT A.
Running through the hall of the Portland Airport on recent holiday travels, exclaiming (at the top of his lungs) “I HAVE TO POOOOOOOOP, MOMMY!!!”
EXHIBIT B.
Announcing to everyone in Fresh & Easy (once again, the one at Broad and South St., poor fools) that someone in the snack aisle had “VERY, VERY DARK SKIN.”
EXHIBIT C.
Climbing a play structure, slipping, and screeching, “OW, MY PENIS!!”
…and my personal favorite,
EXHIBIT D.
At the park, staring, then pointing at our local resident cross-dresser, who was passing by and just happened to be wearing a long dress and a hat like this
which compelled Seabass to yell, “LOOK AT THAT QUEEN, MOMMY!”
Yes, son. How very astute you are.
I am Jaime, wife to Jacob. We are the smitten, stupefied, sometimes scared silly parents of a precious boy nicknamed Seabass and a darling girl nicknamed Sweet Chuck.
Higher Highs, Lower Lows 
And this is how Art Linkletter made it big. Everyone, but the parents, laugh:)