Hope for the PPD mom.

24 Feb

There isn’t time for this, or any blogging lately. Work, kids, fun, rinse, repeat. Or, more accurately, deadlines, dirty diapers, dinner, and dancing in the living room. This is what days look like around here lately.


Eating God-knows-what and being adorable.

Seabass on his new pedal bike!

Seabass on his new pedal bike!

But a friend of a friend recently wrote me because she’s struggling with the reality of postpartum depression and news that she’s pregnant with her second child. Deadlines and dinner can wait; there’s urgent, and then there’s URGENT.

As I wrote her back, I could sense that something incredible was happening: I was happy, hopeful, and even helpful, able to pass my peace along to someone in need.

First off, congrats on your pregnancy! Really. Congratulations. My daughter, Sweet Chuck, is the light of my life. I can’t imagine life without her, though I cried and cried when I found out I was pregnant with #2. I completely understand. The first trimester was so so challenging, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc etc. I couldn’t fathom having another crying mouth to feed and butt to wipe. I don’t know how I kept Seabass alive those first several months, but I must have somehow because he’s a thriving kid today. God knows I didn’t do much more than cry and stare out the window for a while there. It is a miracle and a mystery of the universe that we mothers are able to contend with so much on so little, if any. It pushes us down – it pulverizes us – and yet, somehow, we make it to the other side and are (I think?) better for it. This is my experience, strength and hope to give to you. Today, despite being literally suicidal after the birth of my first child, I have two kids who are healthy and happy, a loving marriage, and a sense of peace in my heart, most days. This isn’t luck. You too will feel this. Just be kind to yourself and give it time. A mantra that worked for me was “CHANGE HAPPENS.” I said it over and over to myself, and it helped me.
Change happens. Change happens. Change happens.

2 Responses to “Hope for the PPD mom.”

  1. Jill February 25, 2014 at 10:18 am #

    You know I love you dearly and am so happy you were able to write this and that there are more good days (these days) than hard days. My mantra right about now is “the days are long but the years are short”. I am proud of you and how you have continued to fight and now get to share and encourage. You rock.

  2. Marta February 26, 2014 at 2:46 pm #

    Change happens if a very important mantra throughout life. A post you did years ago (before sweet chuck was a glimmer in your eye) resonated so deeply with me about PPD. I have it saved somewhere in my email and I’ve been reading you ever since!

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