This is my precious friend Jenny with her husband Kai on their wedding day:
Jenny and I met at work several years ago and have kept in close touch though we haven’t lived in the same city for more than a few months at a time since. Before I met her, though, I already knew Kai from his employment at Insomniac Video, the erstwhile mainstay of San Luis Obispo film culture where movies were literally split into sub-genres as anally specific as “Swords and Sandals.” Insomniac has since closed, may it rest in kitschy peace.
Jenny and Kai are an adorable couple who are, now, expecting. The following is part of a Google chat conversation between Jenny and me from earlier this week, with her explicit permission.
Jenny: we got our test results and ultrasound yesterday
Jenny: everything is perfect
me: of course it is.
Jenny: my baby is so cute already
me: you’re saying “him?”
Jenny: i think it’s a boy
but i don’t really care
me: i can totally see a boy
or am i being annoying?
Jenny: can i tell you some of kai’s suggestions?
they are totally amusing
me: oh please do
i’ll let that one sink in
background on manko?
Jenny: some obscure reference in the good the bad and the ugly
Jenny: i lost interest halfway through the story
me: oh god i’m peeing
Jenny: i’ll let you catch your breath
me: kay. ready
me: you’re going to hate me
i actually kinda like that
Jenny: shut up
me: for you, of course
not for my kid!
Jenny: it sounds like the bad guy in a sci fi movie
me: how about zoltar?
I was literally typing that as you wrote it
but i’m kidding
don’t name your kid zoltar on account of me
Jenny: of course not
these are not even under consideration
the last one may be the worst
me: bring it
the explanation is the best
it’s some native american name
and when i asked why this was a good idea
kai proceeded to tell me about his heretofore unnamed sioux roots
when i pressed him he could not actually name a native american relative
can you imagine a child named chinu?
me: oh, i’m dying
kai is the poster child for haphazard american lineage
Jenny: i told kai that if he had any legitimate native american roots, i could not believe that he wasn’t cashing in on gaming money
and so i totally didn’t believe him
he was deeply offended
it was hilarious
if anyone is going to cash in on gaming money, it’s that cheap bastard
and i say that with all the love and respect in my heart