To the owner of the very sick dog on Chorro Street:

15 Feb

Dear Sir/Madam,

If there is anything worse than finding dog poop under your shoe, it is most certainly seeing dog poop rolling and flinging off of a stroller wheel and onto your pant leg.

Your dog is obviously extremely ill.  How else do you explain the identically-shaped turds at regular intervals along the sidewalk of Chorro Street?  This was not the work of a team of dogs.  This was one dog.  Yours.

Might I suggest that you investigate the BRAT Diet for your poor pooch?  (It has done wonders for my oft loosey-goosey Seabass.)  Or perhaps a well-stocked, handy cache of plastic bags would do the trick?

Either way, if I find your dog’s excrement on the tire of my stroller again, I will hunt you down and force-feed your dog Immodium AD with my own two hands.



6 Responses to “To the owner of the very sick dog on Chorro Street:”

  1. Gretchen February 15, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

    This reminds me of the Craigslist post about falling with your skirt over your head when we lived in the city.

  2. Kim Fahrni February 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    AMEN…I walk every morning. If I can carry a little poop bag, why can’t everyone?? I amazes me that people are still so irresponsible especially here in SLO!!

  3. Marta February 15, 2012 at 7:10 pm #

    Ew. Yeah, I understand its gross to pick up that loose stuff, but then walk your dog on the grass not the middle of the sidewalk.

  4. Monika February 16, 2012 at 8:48 am #

    I once chased a man down the street in my pajamas after his dog left a HUGE gift on the sidewalk in front of my house. He was on his cell phone and pretended not to see it.

  5. Linda Z February 17, 2012 at 11:54 am #

    Blech!!! At least it made for a good story! 😛

  6. Anonymous February 18, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    I think you should make them some poop pie like they did in “The Help” movie!

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