Crying and Peeing. Together.

2 Jul

A lot of new moms are shocked by how hard it is to recover from childbirth.  No one tells you that you’ll fantasize about walking for the first month, or that the real “little bundle of joy” you’re taking home is a bag full of adult diapers and Tucks pads that the hospital gives you.  No one tells you that you’ll be shifting in your seat on a very very very sore behind while nursing the new baby for hours on end.

And no one tells you that you’ll pee your pants.  Perhaps more than once.

At this point, some of you – particularly those of you who are male – may be clicking on that little red box with an ‘x’ inside the upper right corner of your screen because you simply don’t want to know this about me.  But those of you who have had a baby or are sickly fascinated with what it’s like will enjoy the following narrative immensely.


Once again, I am up with Seabass at 3am.  He’s probably about 2 weeks old, and I am dutifully changing his diaper.  But when I stand up, I vaguely notice that my bladder is full.  Huh, I think, I’ll have to visit the bathroom when I’m done here. This is pre-pregnancy, normal person thinking.  I bring Seabass over to the changing table and – whaddya know? – he starts to cry.  Really hard.  As I remove his diaper, a surprisingly acute stream of pee arcs from his body to the wall.  (Whenever this happens, it always takes me a second to realize what’s going on, and by that time, something – whether it’s me, the wall, or C’s face – is completely soaked.)  Something about the stress of covering Seabass’ little willy while attempting to quiet him at 3am causes me once again to consider my full bladder.  Wow, I really have to go, I think.

Only this time, as I’m thinking it, I’m actually peeing.  Never mind that my brain is telling my body to hold it.  That simply doesn’t seem to matter anymore.  So I start to cry.

If we’re looking for a silver lining in this story, I can tell you that it was wonderful to connect with my son as we were both crying and peeing together.  Really, a lovely moment.

But since then, I have learned a number of very important lessons:

  1. At the first inkling of a tinkle, run to the bathroom.  Do not mosey. Do not tempt fate.
  2. When everyone tells you to practice Kegels during your pregnancy, do not blow it off as a mere suggestion.  The practice of Kegels could mean the difference between a happy, fulfilled motherhood and the loss of all dignity.
  3. A wet bottom is just a sneeze away.  Beware.

8 Responses to “Crying and Peeing. Together.”

  1. Megan July 2, 2010 at 11:34 pm #

    Something you should know: Kegals do not work for your particular problem. This I have known for years, and this article will explain better than I exactly why that is the case.

  2. Hannah July 3, 2010 at 12:49 am #

    silver lining…after having 3 kids I thought for sure my bladder was history. Running, sneezing, coughing, (and forget about jumping) all potential embarassing situations. I had to brace myself anytime I felt a sneeze coming on. BUT for some strange reason after kid 3 my bladder seeems normal- I actually went for a jog (prepared with my now usual incontinance pad) but was surprised- I made the full 20 minute jog without peeing my pants- HOORAY!!
    Sofia (my 1st) was a hard labor complete with a 4th degree episiotomy. I remember crying at night because of how uncomfortable I was between the nursing and area down below. It took 6 months to recover- but it must have been worth it because I had 2 more kiddos!!
    Finally, because your writing rang so true to me- I have to share this with you…when you are pregnant with your first no one tells you anything (or you choose not to listen)I remember thinking- no one told me this so I tried to warn my friends that were having kids and no one listened. Guess one of those ignorance is bliss things!

    Keep the blog going…love the stories! We should get Seabass and Gabriel together sometime.

  3. Laura July 3, 2010 at 3:05 pm #

    True, nobody tells you about the not-so-joyful part of giving birth. I am pretty sure your blog will be very useful to me (unless it makes me change my mind :)) so please keep it going. Also keep writing about the funny stuff -I loved the organic treat post!

  4. Debbie July 3, 2010 at 11:34 pm #

    I did tell you about my thinking they sewed me up with barbed wire. I think you laughed.

  5. Wilfredo May 29, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

    Something else must have changed. Has a work sduhcele changed, a new person in the house or visiting alot? Going out more often now, anything?This is usually a behavior signal that they are not happy with their owner. Short of a behavior consultation, I would recommend not allowing her in the bedrooms when you’re not home. If you have never crate trained her, that might be a difficult solution, if you have, she may need to be in the crate when you go out.Not that it’s the same thing, but I have a potbelly pig and he desperately needed his hooves trimmed. For a couple of times, he peed in the bed too. It was a combination of difficulty walking on the bad hooves and we had added a foster dog to the house that he did not care for. So in his case is was change and difficulty moving. The dog is gone now and the hooves are trimmed and he has gotten back in the habit of going outside.If she is camped out on the bed and not moving until she pees, it could be arthritis or something that is making it difficult for her to move.Those are my two guesses. Good luck!


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